What I Ate Today: May 10, 2019 Nothing Special.

Generic Grape Nuts. Just typing that makes me angry. I mean, obviously, they weren’t called Grape Nuts, they were called something like ‘Wheat Pebbles’ or some shit because they ARE NOT GRAPE NUTS — they are generic. Grape Nuts has cornered the market on the perfection in the wheat pebble game, and trademarked a name that makes no sense but that makes my heart beat faster.

I was angry when I grabbed the box, for two reasons. One: I was scared of what they were going to taste like and that they would be so sub-par that I would have to dump them in the garbage can. Two: because the art on the Grape Nuts box is so way better than the art on this one and I am very aesthetically driven. Then I got angry when I poured the cereal into a measuring cup, because the serving size for grape nuts (even the generic kind) is 1/2 cup. Can you even imagine eating 1/2 cup of cereal and then heading out to your day with any confidence that you’re not going to mouth the first edible thing that crosses your path? Me neither. But: somehow — and this gets me every single time — Grape Nuts (even the generic kind) can get the job done. Fuckin mindblowing.

So — I was angry when I grabbed the box, and angry while measuring the toddler-sized portion, and angry while pouring the milk, but the minute I took a bite, I felt good again. I couldn’t really differentiate…