What I Ate Today: Bits of honey and shame — April 11, 2019

I started off this morning eating some Kashi cereal. Honey puffs-something. This means that the last time I was grocery shopping, I wanted Kelloggs Honey Smacks or Post Golden Crisp — which are interchangeable because they are both essentially honest-to-god tiny nuggets of edible sweet gold. They are exactly what morning is supposed to taste like.

But because I occasionally try to curtail my inner-four-year-old whims, I marched over to the Kashi area and selected the closest thing I could find. And I won’t lie to you: the Kashi puffs are good. When I was pouring the milk on, I was like ‘if these fuckers lied and put the word honey in the damn title and it isn’t obvious enough a flavor to really earn that position, I am going to sit down and drill out a real fuckin heavily-worded email and dishonesty and honey and how holy shit the word honey is right smack dab spelled out right there in the word dishonesty what does this mean??’

anyway. I didn’t have to write an email. The honey was there and the puffs were good. Enough. They were good enough. I didn’t smile once while I was eating them, but I liked them. And they got me through until 11:30am, at which point, I had to shove some more food in my face.

At 11:30am, I started taking bites of things while pretending I wasn’t really eating my lunch…