An Advice Column I Write to Myself, Letter One— Q: Dear Kelly, What if I think I’m a total piece of shit?

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I have long been the person my friends turn to when they are seeking advice. Friends I haven’t heard from in some time will suddenly show up in my text string, saying, ‘Girl — can you help me?’ And I never, ever, ever resent it. I straight up LOVE IT. I love giving advice. I’m good at it! I often hear these real jewels and gems just slide out of my mouth while I’m talking to them, and I’m like WTF HOW DID I KNOW TO SAY THAT — AM I SERIOUSLY THAT…